Your self-talk can lift your self-esteem, or it can bring it down. In our consultations, we will work on addressing the areas you think are your weaknesses, and work on identifying your strengths – with the aim of changing your internal dialogue to lift you up. Positivity breeds positivity.
How does therapy for low self-confidence and self-esteem work?
When you start seeing a therapist about your low self-confidence and low self-esteem, and take time, in the safe space of therapy, to open these issues up, often it becomes clear that low self-confidence isn’t only something you ‘have’ but something you ‘do’. It is not so much that you ‘have’ low self-esteem or self-value, but that you are not esteeming or valuing yourself at the right level.
While this is being grasped, it begins to be possible to explore, understand and make plans for effective change.
In therapy we explore how your habitual patterns of behaviour reinforce a certain, negative self-image, and then what steps could start to improve the self-image. Therapy will entail detailed practical work on how to take those necessary steps in a way which is sufficiently gradual and incremental so as not to evoke resistance.
That term ‘resistance’ is really a reference to the internalised critic in your ‘head’, the nasty, critical ‘voice’ in your mind that runs you down and says you are ‘not good enough’. It’s often quite a mean bully that people carry around on their shoulder or at their back, finding fault with everything they do and all that they are, knocking their confidence and self-worth at every opportunity.
That critical voice is particularly keen on making comparisons, and is always able to find negative comparisons for you to ruminate on and take to heart, diverting your energies away from meeting your own needs.